| Wag Naman Kayung Harsh! |
[Dec. 14th, 2008|10:09 pm] |
>1. Tippi - On the
first day of the Mango sale, the sister of my friend
was looking around and picked up a dress when a woman at the counter
started
screaming,”Put that down, that’s mine!” The sister of
my friend looked up,
looked at the woman up and down, raised an eyebrow, and replied, “Excuse
me.
You are NOT a ’small’”
> 2. Maximo - A supervisor once told a worker who has difficulty in
understanding instructions, “Ang ulo, hindi lang yan pinapatong sa leeg,
ginagamit din yan sa pagiisip.”
> 3. Springturns - A friend told another friend, “Naku, magma-makeup
muna ako, baka magmukha akong yaya mo.” The other friend replied, “Wag
na,
magmumukha ka lang yaya ko na naka-makeup.”
> 4. Bennett - I told my then boyfriend during a fight, “Even on your
smartest day, you’re not half as smart as I am on my dumbest!”
> 5. Riverbanks - “Ako, I was born beautiful. Ikaw, you were
just
born.”
> 6. Astroboy - A letter posted on a car windshield in UP: “Sir/madam,
the parkng space that we have reserved is for the College Secretary, not
for
you. Guard.”
> 7.
Shining - When I saw friend I haven’t seen in a long time, she told
me, “Grabe, lalo ka pang tumaba!” So I told her, “Ikaw din, lalo ka pang
pumangit!”
> 8. Eylek - Pag sinisingitan ako sa pila, nagpaparinig ako. I say, “Ang
pilang ito, according to beauty. Mga panget muna.”
> 9. Gorgeous Bitch - “Unlike you, tinuruan ako ng mga magulang ko na
hindi pumatol sa may asawa.”
> 10. Jose de vengenge - From the movie She’s The Man: “Girls with an
ass like mine don’t go out with boys with a face like yours.”
> 11. Joe - “Maliban sa mukha mo, ano pang problema mo?”
> 12. Anfernee - I once told an officemate who kept on bragging about
her
new shoes, “Sale,
right?”
> 13. Pong Pagong - I pointed a “7 items or less” sign to a clueless
pasosyal at the supermarket. She bitchily answered, “I can read!” Sabay
irap. So I shot back with, “I know, but can you
count?”
> 14. Astroboy - “Tuwing nakikita kita, gusto ko mag-sorry sa eyes ko.”
> 15. Dru - “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be bitchy. It’s an
involuntary reaction whenever I encounter ugly people.”
> 16. Astroboy - Man: “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” Woman: “Do not
enter.”
> 17. Astroboy - Man: “how do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized.”
> 18. Aeon- After receiving her pay slip and realizng how much she’s
paying for tax, a sosyal officemate exclaimed, “Ang mga poor ba
nagbabayad din
ng tax?”
> 19. Riverbanks - During a hike at Mt. Mayon, we had a maarte
companion.
When we ran out of water, our guide got us some
from a ntural spring. The
maarte girl said, “Dini-drink ba yan?” I told her, “Bakit, sa inyo ba
ang
water chinu-chew?”
> 20. Noel - Overheard from 2 kids talking. Kid 1: “Lahat tayo galing
kay
Adam
and Eve.” Kid 2: “Hindi yan totoo. Sabi ng papa ko, galing tayo sa
unggoy.” Kid 1: “Hindi natin pinag-uusapn ang pamilya mo, kaya wag kang
magulo!”
> 21. Loipogi - A friend told his officemate: “I’m impressed. I’ve
never encountered such a small mind inside such a big head before.”
> 22. Pachuchay - Bading: (envying a girl na crush ng crush nya) “Isang
butas lang ang lamang mo sa kin!”
> 23. ACER - I was staring at an ugly bystander in their street. The
ugly
guy snapped, “Bakit ang sama mo makatingin?” I snapped back, “Eh bakit
ang
sama mo tignan?”
> 24. Persh - A friend once told me, “Ang ganda mo!” I answered:
“Thank you, sana ikaw
rin…”
> 25. Jose de vengenge - I told this to an ex: “I must admit you brought
religion to my life. I never believed in hell till I met you.”
> 26. Gorgeous Bitch - “When a cashier tells me she doesn’t
have
change, I say: “And…kaninong problema un?"
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